April Fools Prank about the opening of chain restaurants and supermarket stores in what the article refers as "buildings three and four of the new Dorman and Deviney Halls" but now correspond to the new Azalea and Magnolia Halls.
A tell-all story of memories in Kellum Hall in 1969, including a first beer, a first joint, and cooking in Kellum Hall. Also references a suicide in the dorms.